Tryouts.  My favorite and least favorite time of year. 

This week, we had the second round of tryouts for next season.  Kids who didn’t make AAA teams in spring tryouts, or those who have put all their loyalty into their AA programs are at the last step of preparing for the season. And, of course, high schools are beginning their selection process as school commences.

There has been heartbreak.  Lots of it.  And a feel it almost as acutely as my skaters do.  The years of playing a game you love at some of the highest levels have come to an end – or at least that’s how you feel.  While the roster decisions may seem unfair or unjust, you know you need put that behind you and move forward.  So what do you do now, when the life you’ve known is suddenly going to change?

I’ve been talking to a lot of my clients this week, trying to figure out next steps.  Ideally, you’d take a few days, or a couple of weeks, to reassess your goals and your future.  But you don’t have time.  Every day another team’s roster is set, leaving you without yet another opportunity.

I’ve been advising my clients to take a step back and ask:  Why do I play?  What is important?  Is it hanging out with your teammates, and all the friends you’ve made?  Is it the competitive aspect, challenging yourself every day?  Or is more than that, with your dream to play college hockey one day?  Maybe it’s all of the above, but you need to identify what it is you really want from the sport.

First and foremost, I’m here to tell you not to give up, regardless of what your dreams are.  Coaches and others are far too quick to dismiss a kid in his/her teens and say “he’s not a real player,” or “he’s just not built out to be a hockey player.”  Even “she’s just doesn’t have the talent.”    This absolves everyone involved from any responsibility to the kid or the situation.  However, what I am here to tell you is that it’s simply not true.  What it boils down to is work – and lots of it.  And it’s probably work and sacrifices that you’re not used to making. 

I get it – as a former elite athlete I’ve been there.  When I was 13 years old I wasn’t selected for a national relay I was qualified for.  I had been speed skating since I was 7 years old. I had shown up to every practice and gave it 100%.  I had surpassed almost all my peers (many boys, by the way) and was easily the best person for that final spot. It was the top team in the country, and I was sure it was going to be my first national title.

And they picked the rink manager’s daughter instead.

We didn’t call it politics back then, but that’s what it was.  It wasn’t the last time politics would come into play, but it was the first time I felt the sport was unfair. I received no real explanation, no feedback on what I needed to make it, and certainly no encouragement.

At that moment, I decided if I was going to make it in the sport I had to be the best.  Not just good enough to make the relay, but the best (and fastest) person every time I stepped foot in a rink.  No politics were going to interfere with my success.  And that’s when I learned to grind.

If I was going to go anywhere in the sport, I couldn’t just show up to practice and give it 100%. Or 110%.  I was going to have to change my mentality, and do everything I could. I wasn’t a “natural” (I only later learned “naturals” were simply early bloomers). I bought a bike, and began riding 30 miles a day for extra training, waking up at 7am in the off-season to grind.  I found another team that would let me skate with them one day a week.  There was no coach, but it was open for extra work and I put in lap after lap after lap. I changed my diet, stopped drinking soda (something I still don’t do to this day)  – anything I thought would give me an extra edge.  I learned to love the grind and at 13, I did what none of my peers were willing to do.

It worked.  The next year, I qualified for nationals.  I kept grinding, and the next year I qualified to train at the Olympic Training Center.  By then, I was at the top of my age group, and had my choice of teams to train with. While I never made the Olympics (our Stanley Cup), I won several national titles and competed internationally. And I never stopped grinding. 

So ask yourself – what is it I really want from this sport?  Am I willing to grind to get there?  Do I just want to win every game?  Play 3v3 instead of doing extra skills or strength training? Hang out with my friends? Or do I want a career?

There is no right answer.  If you want to play with your friends, compete hard and enjoy it now that’s great!  Play as much as you can while you can.  You may still be able to play at a high level playing club hockey in college.  You may not play at the highest level you desire, but you’re enjoying the sport and all the great things that come with it.

However, if you have your eyes set on the next level, whether that’s AAA, juniors or college, you need to take stock of your career, come up with a development plan, and learn to grind. Don’t just show up to practice and work hard.  When everyone else is staying up late and sleeping in, go to bed early and wake up for that extra skills session.  Instead of playing that fun 3v3 game, take that money and spend an extra hour each week working with a top strength and conditioning coach.  Focus on your development.  Train like a pro. 

So you’re not on a super high level team this year. That’s ok. Become the best on this and every team at every level, and become so good it will be impossible for a team to say no to you.   Surround yourself with people who believe in you and make every person that ever cut you regret their decision.  Remember, hockey is a late blooming sport.  It may be a grind, but It’s not too late.

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